I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
