he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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