CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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