so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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