On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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