i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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