R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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