I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
