So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
