Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
