So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize