did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
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WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize