I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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