he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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