Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
