Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
