I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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