He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize