If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
