Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

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(773): View more from Illinois

So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first

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(917): View more from New York City

the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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(661): View more from California

u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom

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(406): View more from Montana

K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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(310): View more from California

I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.

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