I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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