Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
