1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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