I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
