Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
