Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

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(661): View more from California

Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

(1-661): View more from California

Lol thats a classic

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

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(707): View more from California

I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once

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(417): View more from Missouri

You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF

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(631): View more from New York

How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?

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