can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
