Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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