Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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