So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
