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Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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