what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
