Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
