The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
