I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
