If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
