if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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