Jerry, you need to find god
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
