I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
