I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
