trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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