Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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