My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
