I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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