How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
