I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
