So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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