White coat. Heels.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
