Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
