He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
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Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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