don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
