Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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