let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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