I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
