The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
