the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
