I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
