I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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