I can text with my tongue
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
