Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
