But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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