I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
