nut hugger
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
